Seriously, I don’t get horoscopes. Sure, I know why people go gaga
over it. Nothing feels better than being told “you’ll meet the man of
your dreams when you get a new job but you’ll get money problems so you
better be careful about your money”. But yeah, won’t we all have money
problems if we don’t take care of our finances?
Horoscopes sometimes do wonderful things, like stating the painfully
obvious. The weird thing is, sometimes, people don’t even realize how
obvious things are until it strips in front of them while dancing the
Macarena.
Take for instance this old horoscope reading Sorsi
gave me. 2008 just rolled in, things were falling into place after the
disaster 2007 was, and I was hopeful. Then Sorsi opens her horoscope
guide and lets out this scorcher: “Ade, according to the stars you’ll
lose something very valuable. Take care of your stuff. Seriously. This
is fucking real. Also, you smell like dick cheese.”


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