Oh my God. Match.com is the shiznit! A co-worker told me that one of our bosses’ profile was up on the site and since it was reeking of blackmail potential, I was dying to check it out using my office computer during office hours with the risk of him seeing me gawking at his profile. Unfortunately, I never found it. However, fortunately (or was it unfortunately?), I stumbled upon other gems that were apt for a Halloween post.

Mumu No. 1: “Im a simple kind of person, i dont look much on how people see you in your outside look or even your age …all i need is a gurl who love to be with me anytime and fun to be with…Just try seing me.”

But what he actually meant was: “I love seeing my nipples poke through the sheer material of my black sando. My pastimes include pouring bottled water down my chest, getting high on the smell of pomade, and singing psalms to a photo of Jinggoy Estrada.”

Hey, you! Yes, you! Click here if you’ve got balls!