Reality check: My balls aren’t as big as I thought they were. I’ve always felt that I could conquer the world and pwn everyone’s faces if I wanted to but now I’m seriously doubting my skills. Starting Monday, I’d have to deal with and prove myself to some of the industry’s biggest names and I swear to God my testicles are now in my throat- and wtf, did I mention I’m a tranny girl?

Orayt, let me explain. Do you know how it feels to want something so bad for a long time and the moment it’s given to you, you suddenly want to chop it into little pieces, fry and eat it and then poop it out the window? Well, I’m having such a dilemma. I want to do it, holy fuck I do. My boss is right. This gig will put my name on the map BUT. THE. PRESSURE’S. GIVING. ME. A. NERVOUS. BREAKDOWN. KTHNXBI. Thinking about it makes me vomit inside my mouth, to be honest.

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