Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Large Hadron Collider.

Guess what this weird-looking contraption is for? Well, aside from
making jokes about it becoming the biggest bait for “large hard-on”
jokes, it’s probably the most awesome thing ever. Before it kills us.

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is the world’s largest
and highest-energy particle accelerator complex, intended to collide
opposing beams of protons charged with approximately 7 TeV of energy.
Its main purpose is to explore the validity and limitations of the
Standard Model, the current theoretical picture for particle physics.
It is theorized that the collider will produce the Higgs boson, the
observation of which could confirm the predictions and missing links in
the Standard Model, and could explain how other elementary particles
acquire properties such as mass.

Make any sense? No? Okay, to make things easier to my readers who
don’t have a degree in quantum physics (I’m pretty sure there’s a
couple out there), the Large Hadron Collider basically tries to make
protons run in a very large oval. A fucking large oval. An oval with a
17-mile circumference, to be exact. More »

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