Hailing the cab

ME: I need to get to Ortigas. Fast.

DRIVER: Okay. We’ll take EDSA?

ME: Whichever way is faster is fine by me, but yes, EDSA sounds good.

DRIVER: Well then, EDSA it is. Brace yourself–

ME: HOLY FUCK DID YOU JUST GO FROM ZERO TO SIXTY IN FIVE SECONDS?!

DRIVER: Actually… zero to sixty-five. Big difference, you know.

ME: But– but– YOU DIDN’T EVEN GIVE ME TIME TO PUT MY SEATBELT ON!

DRIVER:  Seatbelt? Those big straps by our seats? You mean people use those things? What do they do, protect you from injuries in case of a car crash?

ME: Actually, yes.

DRIVER: Pussy.

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