Dear DTH,

I’ve been having sleepless nights due to this unbearable pain. You see, I’ve stumbled upon this particular gal’s profile on Friendster. And from then on, I started stalking, err, viewing her lovely photos on a daily basis. Oh, my day was not complete without getting a glimpse of her lovely photos. I didn’t care if she updated her profile once every 6 months, I just couldn’t stop looking at her! I felt like we had a mutual understanding just by staring at those cute little eyes. But one time she did the unthinkable: She set her profile to friends-only access! What kind of sick bitch would set her Friendster profile to friends-only access?

Nevermind if I never had the balls to message her or to at least send her an invite and add her to my friend’s list! That’s just not right. Now I’ve been having second thoughts sitting in front of the computr. I feel like the Internet is of no more use!

Now please excuse me while I slash my jugular.

- Balls of Steel

Dear Balls of Steel,

She set her profile to friends-only eh? That sucks. What happened to all those tender sweet moments that you shared? Unfortunately, she doesn’t even know you are totally lovestruck. She doesn’t even know you exist. Yeah, you suck sweaty balls like that. But don’t slash your jugular, I’m here to help!

Continue reading ‘Down The Highway: An Advice Column for Emos - 6‘

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