More business humor on eNGy toons

Okay. So I’ve been on almost a month long hiatus yet again and now, as always, I’m back explaining my absence as if you guys even care. But anyway, I have been spending so much time at work these days that I almost forgot I have a blog that I also need to update if not every day, at least every once in a while. Really, work has got me so “hooked up” that I’m doing this post here in the office on a Saturday – although it’s my day-off today – because the whole IT team is doing (some very confidential IT work that Uncle Marvin doesn’t really understand; in fact he doesn’t really know what he is doing in the IT field except for the occasional free internet – which he utilizes so profusely in his quest to learn about the possible benefits of Viagra to him and how it differs from other products such as Cialis and Enzyte – and Yahoo! Messenger in which chat rooms he frequents nowadays – that is if he’s not busy collecting information about Viagra* – where he is desperately trying to impress girls with relatively low self-esteem (no less) with any kind of conversations such as this:

Continue Reading at Shit Happens.

More eNGy toons here

You may think only teen girls can be mean girls, but you’re wrong. There are different kinds of mean girls. There are ultra hot mean girls, fat whore mean girls, boy mean girls, gay mean girls, old mean girls, Eastern European dictator mean girls, ancient Egyptian demon reborn in the modern day world as a dentist mean girls, etc. Anybody can be a mean girl. You can be a mean girl. Not sure if you are? Want to find out? Yes? Well, luckily for you, it’s Mean Girls Week. It’s the perfect time to discover if you’re a skanky whore bitch mean girl inside. Just take the following quiz to find out! Grool? Grool.

1. A friend of yours introduces you to someone from another country. A weird country. Like Africa or Japan or something. You…

1. invite him/her to join you for a cup of coffee, hoping to find out more about his/her culture and whatnot
2. exchange pleasantries and move on with your crazy hectic life
3. freeze and panic because you think all people from foreign lands carry diseases that can wipe out everyone on your side of the equator
4. tell the summbitch to eat your shoe and fuck off before you punch him/her in the throat

» Read the rest of the entry

We are so much dependent on the technology today.  One friend i knew is that he cant live without his mobile phone that he uses for texting or making a call in a day. While making a call on his right, he still manages to text on the left while working on his notebook on his front.  We are so techno stressed.  As Aileen defines it, here are the signs if you are a techno-stressed:
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Gretchen: That is so fetch!
Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It’s not going to happen!

Gretchen, Regina’s right hand bitch, tried to make “So fetch!” happen. She really did. But alas, it did not. Queen bee Regina’s antagonism didn’t help. But what if it did happen? This being Mean Girls Week, I feel that it’s my duty as a responsible blogger to ask and explore the question “What if So fetch! happened?”

» Read the rest of the entry

WELCOME TO THUNDERDOME! I mean Girl World. Welcome to Girl World. Through the magic of the movie Mean Girls, I have been blessed with a chance to explore the intriguing plane of existence where everything is pink and valley girl-ish. I have seen things that will haunt me for as long as I live. I have witnessed drama that is both disturbing and fascinating. Since this is Mean Girls Week, I have decided to guide you through this world perilous! Take my hand, weary traveler. We’re going in.

In Girl World, it’s totally normal for totally hot teachers to remove their clothes in front of all their students just for kicks, which is totally cool.

» Read the rest of the entry

A couple of months ago, the water company decided, on a whim, to change all the water pipes in our area. It’s cool with me, considering the fact that most water pipes in this godforsaken country have been laid down way before WW II and are probably clogged with the bones of some Japanese soldier, and did I mention I drink water? So yeah.

But it never occurred to me that changing pipes is a complicated matter. They would dig up the pipes from the bottom of the ground, and remove the old one and then replace it with a shiny new pipe, then cover it up with soil and cement it all over again. And the whole time they’d have road signs saying “We don’t just lay pipes, we build lives” (and a million dirty jokes just went through my mind just like that. IKNOWRITE).

What they didn’t mention is that the entire damn process would take months. And to speed up the process, they decided to do all the streets in our village at the same time. Yes, at the same fucking time. And the geniuses at the water company effectively closed off all the major roads. Yay!
Read the rest of this entry »

More business humor toons here

More engy toons  here.

(Kakaloka! Buong weekend, ang template ko ang inaayos ko. At di pa ako tapos ilagay ang lahat ng plugins. Pero mas gusto ko na ito. Harinawang mas magustuhan nyo rin ito.)

OO… ako ang reyna ng Cucci Gang. “Cucci” as in “Cuchina”. Ako ang reyna, preysident, vice-preysident, seykretari, treysyurer, fi-r-o, sargent at arms. Ako rin ang muse at ang escort na rin! Pero, wala akong 70 kiyaw na utang kahit na kaninong afam. Wit rin akong buysung ng shabu (eh pang-rugby nga wala, shabu pa!). Ang tambayan ko, yung pansitan ko na pinalitan ko na ang pangalan ngayon - “Em-bihon-sy”. Vonggah, diba? Pero bukod sa pansitan ko, type na type ko ring kumain sa Andok’s. (Hindi katulad ng iba dyan… uhummmm!)

Sundan ang pagbabasa sa pansitan ni Ate Sienna

Next week, we are anticipating the first eNGy Business humor Cartoons to be released.

This is an initial 72 pages of humor, and our first print run of
3,000 copies will be mainly given out to customers, friends and
partners, as well as to be sold in our own retail stores.

Here is the front cover.

If we don’t get overwhelmed by work, and continue to see humor amidst
all the seriousness in the office, we are hoping that Book 2 will be
coming out by June 2008….Visit eNGy Official Website

The following is an excerpt:

This morning, I finished half of a new feature story that I was planning on posting tonight. It was supposed to be about the characteristics of Jumpers (who are special human beings capable of doing special (what else?) things like jumping through space and landing anywhere in the world) compared to those of Bloggers. Basically, I wanted to draw comparisons between the two, and in the end say that although Jumpers are cool because of their powers, Bloggers can be cool too. You just have to look at things from the right perspective.

So anyway, like I said earlier, I had already finished half of that feature document, and successfully saved its draft in the memory card of my Nokia E50. You see, I don’t yet have a computer of my own, and my smart phone is the only thing that I can use as a compromise. I can read and write common documents on it, which is mostly all that a Blogger like myself should need anyway.

I would’ve already posted that darned Jumper article here right now, but unfortunately, I no longer have the draft with me. Why? Because I no longer have my memory card with me. Why? Because I no longer have my Nokia E50. And why? Because I pawned it earlier this afternoon for some lunch money.

So here I am, broke to the bone in a computer shop, living off debt money, faith and a few of my principles, trying to look for a subject that I could write about as a compromise for that missing Jumper article. I could try and recall it as hard as I could from memory, and just rewrite the whole thing as best as I can, but I feel it would just be a waste of my time. I believe that no problem should ever be solved twice. And writing that article again would become that — overkill.

So what now? Certainly I can’t just sit here and let my time pass by. I’m paying for my Internet access by the minute, after all. And if time is gold, my online time is gold-plated gold. I can’t waste any. That’s why I’m determined to make my online time today useful, just like I always do. Or try to do anyway.

Continue reading at Electronic Pulp

Mga programmers, tama ba?  More eNGy toons here

Everyone makes mistakes, they say. Usually you can correct your error
or just forget about it and move on. Making a mistake at work, however,
can be more serious. It may cause problems for your employer and even
affect the company’s bottom line. Repercussions will ultimately trickle
down to you. Simply correcting your mistake and moving on may not be an
option. When you make a mistake at work your career may depend on what
you do next.More eNGy toons here

The people who have designed uniforms of girls in private Catholic schools must have been descended from the inquisitors of the Middle Ages because of their penchant to torture young ladies by imposing on them clothes with outrageous colors and atrocious styles. Boys have it easy. They just have to put on a white polo shirt and khaki shorts, for the young boys, or pants, once they’re considered “young men.”

I was four years old when I went to Nursery School. That’s pretty late I guess for today’s standards when kids go to school even before they could walk. I remember that I wore a pink and white checkered jumper with a white blouse underneath. I didn’t care much for fashion then. Oh heck, I don’t care much for fashion now.

Read more in Toe’s Kurokuroatbp.

You can put this toon into your blog by copying this code ( Select the whole code and press CTRL C). More Engy toons here

We all
receive lots of annoying spam emails that choke our email accounts. Now with
Email Processor you can automatically detect and remove unsolicited messages
right from the mail server.You only need
to set up a separate rule that will filter all your incoming messages, catch
unsolicited emails and remove them from your mail server. What do you think Jim?

Word of the day: SPAM/SPAMMING. Spamming is the abuse of electronic messaging systems to indiscriminately send unsolicited bulk messages. While the most widely recognized form of spam is e-mail spam, the term is applied to similar abuses in other media: instant messaging spam, Usenet newsgroup spam, Web search engine spam, spam in blogs, wiki spam, mobile phone messaging spam, Internet forum spam and junk fax transmissions (wiki). More eNGy toons here.  Don’t forget to drop us a message.

Be specific when you talk to your boss(especially when he is old).  His brain might still running in Pentium 2 processor(grin).  More eNGy toons here. Don’t forget to drop us your comment.

Hi,

First off let me get the obligatory inroductory speech out of the way. My name is Ade Magnaye, blogger extrordinaire. Internet celebrity. Rock star. Stalker magnet. Member of the awesomiffic group of perverts and child pornographers, The Man Blog. I usually order Chai Tea Latte, in the hope that you won’t see me as the usual frappucino-ordering ilk and that you see me as posh and shit. I bring my laptop everytime and pretend to surf the internet, but seeing I can’t afford your shop’s stupid expensive wireless, I actually stare at my desktop wallpaper every single time. I go every every other day to the coffee shop you work in so I could ogle at your wonderfully beautiful chinita face from a distance. And wank off in the bathroom. Read the rest of this entry »